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WrestleMania Wednesday – WrestleMania 29

WrestleMania XXIX

I was live and in attendance for this particular Showcase of the Immortals. It took place on April 7th, 2013 at the MetLife Stadium in NEW JERSEY, and not f—king NEW YORK! I hated that part of the ad campaign. WrestleMania comes home is a big ol’ pile of bull. The first one was held in Madison Square Garden. That’s in New York. MetLife is in New Jersey. It’s two different places, you bastards!

Anyway, let’s get to the work the WWE Superstars left out in the ring there that night. It started with some of my favorites, The Shield (Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, and Seth Rollins) versus Randy Orton, Sheamus, and Big Show. Any match that The Shield was in on a WWE Pay-per-view was pure gold. The “pack of dogs” mentality was always a great piece of in-ring psychology, which was used to great effect against the three heavyweights. It’s one of the better opening matches in WrestleMania history.

The World's Strongest Man walking down the ramp for his match with Ryback at WrestleMania 29 (Courtesy of WWE.com)

The World’s Strongest Man walking down the ramp for his match with Ryback at WrestleMania 29 (Courtesy of WWE.com)

Next up were Ryback and Mark Henry. I’ve constantly found myself indifferent to Ryback, so this was the match I had the most fun being in the crowd for. There was a pocket of fans who were cheering for the Monster as he came down the ramp, so I let out my loudest boo’s and proceeded to heckle the guy during his entire match.

The next match was between one of my favorite tag teams, Team Hell No! (Daniel Bryan And Kane) and Dolph Ziggler and Big E. Langston. The talented foursome was given just over six minutes on the Grandest Stage of Them All, but they took advantage of it. Add in the incredible AJ Lee and you’ve got a solid match. There was a story being told. It had a dynamic to it. Something was going on. That’s why Daniel Bryan has caught on so much. His matches have always been easy to invest in, and this was no exception. Team Hell No! picked up the win and retained their WWE Tag Team Championships.

After that, it came time for one of my favorite wrestlers ever to face one of my least favorite wrestlers ever: Chris Jericho vs. Fandango. I love Chris Jericho. He’s Teflon to me now. Nothing can touch the guy, and I really respect how much he’s done to put young talent over in the recent years. However, I hate the Fandango character with a burning, entirely irrational passion. I think the stupid dancing makes a joke of something that is much better served when the jokes are used well, and most importantly, subtly.

We should laugh with the characters, and not at them. Maybe I’m being highly critical of the writing, but honestly, what is there to the character? Maybe he’s had some great development on Raw or SmackDown, but how far could the guy possibly go? How are you supposed to take Fandango serious as a contender in any match? I’d join the #CancelWWENetwork movement if ever I saw that goofy jerk Fandango winning the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.

CM Punk and Paul Heyman entering the arena for Punk's match with Undertaker (Courtesy of Wikipedia.com)

CM Punk and Paul Heyman entering the arena for Punk’s match with Undertaker (Courtesy of Wikipedia.com)

To wash away the waste left behind Fandango, Alberto Del Rio and Jack Swagger took center stage in a brutal match. Both men wrestle with a tremendously physical style; putting them in the ring was an easy decision. It’s always nice to see two guys who can actually wrestle go toe to toe at WrestleMania. Alberto Del Rio won and retained his WWE World Heavyweight Championship.

That’s when the Triple Main Event started. First up was The Undertaker vs. CM Punk for Taker’s legendary undefeated streak at WrestleMania. As of right now, January 27th, 2015, it is the last match that the Dead Man was able to win at WrestleMania. It was a great one. CM Punk vented his frustrations about this match to Colt Cabana on Colt’s Art of Wrestling podcast. He felt it should have been the final match of the show, and he was right. It was a true showstopper.

The second of the three closing matches was Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar. If Triple H lost, he’d be forced to retire. Triple H catches a lot of s—t on his wrestling because of his position at the top of the company. He often doesn’t get the credit he deserves. Not enough people acknowledge this knock ‘em down, drag ‘em out brawl. Oh, also, this is one of the craziest things I’ve ever seen. As he was entering the arena, a dry ice machine malfunctioned and sprayed dry ice all over Triple H’s abdomen. The dude doesn’t even flinch as it’s searing second-degree burns into his skin. He even managed to pick up a win.

Finally, the Main Event of the evening was the Twice in a Lifetime bout, The Rock vs. John Cena. This is one of those examples of Vince McMahon telling us when we’re supposed to think that a match was legendary. The truth is that this was just ok. It wasn’t terrible, but the previous two matches vastly overshadowed it. At least John Cena got to pick up the W, taking home Rock’s WWE Championship. That meant he’d get to say it again.

John Cena shaking hands with The Rock after he beat him at WrestleMania 29. What a classy fellow that Cena is (Courtesy of WWE.com)

John Cena shaking hands with The Rock after he beat him at WrestleMania 29. What a classy fellow that Cena is (Courtesy of WWE.com)

Say what, you ask?

THE CHAMP IS HERE!

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