Happy birthday, congratulations, thank you, I love you, thinking of you. Every day, millions of people give gifts to show their thoughts and feelings to friends and loved ones. A study from Rutgers University shows that the type of gift we choose can say a lot about who we are and that is why many simply send flowers.
Dr. Jeannette Haviland-Jones, a researcher at Rutgers University and director of the Human Emotions Lab, looked into how gift choices reflect our personality and influence how others see us. Her research found that people who give flowers are seen as more successful, caring, and emotionally aware than those who give other types of gifts. Some key findings include:
- Both men and women who give flowers are seen as happy, successful, strong, capable, and brave.
- They are also viewed as more emotionally aware, able to show their feelings clearly, and willing to understand the emotions of others.
- Women who give flowers are thought to appreciate beauty and nature more than others.
“Our research shows that the gifts you give can shape how others see you in meaningful ways,” says Dr. Haviland-Jones. “This can be helpful in improving friendships, romantic relationships, and even professional connections.”
This isn’t the first time Dr. Haviland-Jones has studied the emotional power of flowers. Her earlier work at Rutgers found that flowers bring immediate joy and happiness, and help people feel more satisfied with life. In those studies, women who received flowers gave real smiles and reported better moods that lasted for days. Flowers also encouraged more contact with family and friends.
“Flowers are made to bring out positive emotions in people,” says Haviland-Jones. “A single bloom can make us smile and change how we feel about someone—whether it’s a friend, coworker, or loved one. That’s a strong effect.”
M.J. Ryan, author of The Giving Heart and the Random Acts of Kindness series, shares a similar view. She uses modern research to help people become happier and more connected. In her writing, she shows how giving and being thankful can lead to better health, joy, and closer human connections.
“People feel a deep emotional link to those who give them gifts, and this connection is especially strong with flowers,” says Ryan. “In my work with individuals and business leaders around the world, I see how much gratitude and kindness can affect people.”
Ryan also believes flowers can have an impact beyond the usual gift-giving events. She encourages giving flowers as a surprise “well done” at work, a thoughtful “I miss you” for a family member, or even a “thank you in advance” when visiting someone’s home.
“A truly successful person is not just someone with wealth or status, but someone who understands people and how to connect with them emotionally,” says Ryan. “Flowers are one of the few gifts that bring positive feelings to both the person giving and the one receiving.”
How the Study Was Done
Dr. Haviland-Jones and her research team at Rutgers studied how gifts affect people and how others see the gift-givers. They included 150 women of different backgrounds, with an average age of 47. Each participant looked at 12 personal profiles (six men and six women) that described the person’s work, charity, and family involvement. The only difference between the profiles was the type of gift the person gave—flowers, gourmet food, or luxury items like jewelry. Each profile was rated for emotional response, appreciation for beauty, emotional understanding, and personal success.